The emotional stress of the adoption process
It is not possible to talk about inter-country adoption without mentioning the huge emotional effects the whole process throws up.
Never panic and never give up!
I have met a few couples who gave up on their parenting dreams, at the Homestudy stage, because they found the whole process too difficult. And it is. You have a complete stranger coming into your house, asking you the most intimate of questions, and judging you on your replies. But they are not just a stranger, they are someone who literally holds your future in their hands.
You don't exactly know what they are looking for, whether what you tell them is going to go down well, or like a lead balloon. There are so many tiny minute things in your life, which you have just swept away, and which now suddenly take on this huge significance. The most ridiculous things suddenly take on an unforseen importance.
If you think that IVF was an emotional roller coaster ride - be prepared!!
Frustration, impatience and confusion, with a sence of never moving forward, are the main emotional stumbling blocks. These are compounded by a continuous ongoing fear, that the process will never end or if it does it will end in failure. You are always on an edge as these emotions fight for space. One adopter once told me, that the emotional journey it was 10 times worse than when they bought their house and then some.
Get your support in place, start yoga breathing, and go and buy that bottle of Rescue Remedy!
The aim of International Adoption Guide is to reduce these feelings of anxiety by preparing you for what lies ahead and for you to express yourself in the forum. I cannot stress highly enough the support you can gain from other adopters in the process. Other members here are going through the same thing that you are, and they understand your feelings - sharing these feelings reduces their impact and keeps you on an even keel and keeps you moving towards your goal.
